“Women are non-violent, but they will shit inside of your hearts.\u201d \u2013Louis CK<\/p>\n
I think that basically sums it all up.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t normally tread on gender related issues, because you know, I usually like to talk about myself. However, I\u2019ve been paying a fair amount of attention to women lately (no cute guys at The Curve, it\u2019s a real shame) and I\u2019ve managed to pick out three things that women do which should make them consider a psychiatric evaluation, or yoga classes at the very least.<\/p>\n
1. Stalking the object of their affection\/ former object of their affection<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t lie; I do some mild stalking. I don\u2019t do anything that might result in me receiving a restraining order, but it\u2019s very likely that I\u2019ll manage to get your mailing address which I\u2019ll never have a reason to use. While I\u2019m content with giving up on digging dirt about my crush the moment my attention span bails on me, the same cannot be said of many other females. They can sit online for hours, follow the same people he does on Twitter, casually plan their day so the guy can be observed and hack his email account just to find out what\u2019s going on in his life. For some odd reason, even long after the guy stops playing a significant part in their lives, the stalking continues. It may not be as hardcore as before, but it goes on.<\/p>\n
2. Making a big fuss about stuff they\u2019re not even supposed to know<\/p>\n
This one is an extension of #1. I don\u2019t do this, because then the person I\u2019m stalking will think I\u2019m a creepy stalker. Which I\u2019m not. I\u2019m just a regular stalker, but enough about me. Women will find out all sorts of things that should not be any of their concern and confront the stalked about it. Here\u2019s an example:<\/p>\n
Girl: How could you have such dirty chats with that fake-boobed tart?<\/p>\n
Guy: Her boobs are fake? No way! Wait.. what chats?<\/p>\n
Girl: The ones you password protected on your laptop! Why do all you guys go for skanks?<\/p>\n
Guy: Why are you going through my private stuff?!<\/p>\n
Girl: That\u2019s not the point! You\u2019ve hurt and disappointed me terribly. How could you?<\/p>\n
Guy: *looks confused* But we\u2019re just friends! What\u2019s it to you if I\u2019m chatting with another girl?<\/p>\n
Girl: *mentally disembowels guy and walks off*<\/p>\n
To top it all off, it is very likely that the woman will tell her posse of friends who will tell other friends, and thanks to the world being so fucking small with almost 7 billion people on it, everyone will know something that she should feel guilty about finding out in the first place.<\/p>\n
Stupid Broca\u2019s area.<\/p>\n
3. Hating people for really, really dumb reasons<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not talking about being a little annoyed because a colleague chews gum really loudly while humming the theme song from Desperate Housewives. I\u2019m talking about the kind of loathing that causes a woman to bully and backbite another person. I might understand if a woman hates a person for stealing and drawing on her first edition Lady Chatterley\u2019s Lover or running over her dog, but reasons like, \u201cbecause she doesn\u2019t deserve the iPad 2 given by her boyfriend who is not related to me in any way\u201d and \u201che says my name too many times when he talks to me\u201d will forever baffle me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sure there\u2019s more. Some of you may even have lists of your own, so please feel free to share them. We can all be confused together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Women are non-violent, but they will shit inside of your hearts.\u201d \u2013Louis CK I think that basically sums it all up. I don\u2019t normally tread on gender related issues, because you know, I usually like to talk about myself. However, I\u2019ve been paying a fair amount of attention to women \u2026 Continue reading