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Pelbagai peristiwa telah giat berlaku sejak says akhir sekali mengemaskinikan blog saya. Seperti yang dijanjikan, saya buat pertama kali (dan besar kemungkinan, kali terakhir) menulis dalam bahasa kebangsaan negara saya, Bahasa Malaysia.

Maafkan kedaifan saya dalam mengarang petikan dalam bahasa melayu, sudah lama tidak bertutur dalam bahasa yang suci ini, dan bolehlah dikatakan, kebolehan saya berbahas dan menulis dalam bahasa ini dikaitkan sebagai besi buruk yang sudah kian berkarat. Walaubagaimanapun, matlamat saya menulis dalam bahasa melayu bukanlah sekadar menonjolkan sifat memperbesarkan diri sendiri yang saya senantiasa mengungkap; tidak, niat sebenar saya adalah untuk menggayakan sifat patriotisma saya terhadap negara tercinta dan bahasa kebangsaan yang sering membangkitkan sifat kemegahan terhadap keistimewaan Malaysia. Saya tidak larat berdusta lagi, jadi saya melantur balik apa yang dikatakan tadi. Sememangya saya mengarangkan cerpen ini adalah untuk mengutuk semua pihak yang dicabar sebelum ini untuk mengarang sekurang-kurangnya satu artikel dalam Bahasa Malaysia yang diajar disekolah untuk lebih kurang 12 tahun!

“Tepuk Dada, tanya selera la beb.”

Adalah tidak bermaksud jika saya menulis satu artikel pendek yang tidak memberi sebarang manfaat kepada saya, jadi, saya bercadang untuk menulis artikel dalam bidang yang amat dekat kepada saya; bidang komputer.

Dalam Zaman dan Era ini, boleh dikatakan, siapa yang tidak tahu apa itu computer, dikaitkan sebagai Katak dibawah tempurung. Sudah hampir 2 dekat computer peribadi (personal computer) dijadikan alat yang mustahak dalam kehidupan setiap manusia. Lebih-lebih lagi, sangkaan komputer sebagai alat pembelajaran sahaja tidak lagi benar. Kini komputer adalah alatan hiburan, untuk menonton wayang, mendengar muzik, bermain permainan berlandaskan grafik 3d, dan lebih-lebih lagi dengan pengembaraan internet, banyak lagi boleh dilakukan.

Biasanya, untuk komputer berfungsi, ianya perlu software yang dikenali sebagai (Operating System). (I will not resolve to using Malay translations for such computer terms because sometimes they are stupid; read : kayu mainian for joystick). O.S. yang paling terkenal dan paling dibenci adalah WINDOWS, kini sebagai Windows Vista. Walaubagaimanapun, Vistamasih baru, dan terdapat pelbagai masalah berkaitain dengan software dan hardware dengan vista. Disebabkan oleh itu, Windows sebelum ini, iaitu Windows XP, masih banyak dipergunakan.

Terdapat juga OS alternatif yang boleh dipergunakan, iaitu MAC OS dan Linux. Mac Os boleh dikatakan adalah untuk “Batty Boy’s” dan bagi mereka yang tidak pasti akan seksuality mereka, dan bagi Linux, tiada perkataan dalam bahasa melayu untuk menerangkan kebolehannya. Dalam Bahasa Ingeris, Linux boleh diterangkan sebagai : Awesomeness.

Saya amat gemar mengunakan Linux, tetapi tidak berani menjadikan Linux sebagai OS-standalone dalam komputer saya. Terdapat pelbagai alasan bagi saya menjadikanya begitu, tetapi boleh dikatakan sebab utamanya adalah kerana jumlah permainan yang boleh dimain dalam Linux adalah amat rendah.

Sila baca artikel selepas ini untuk mengetahui cara menginstall Linux dalam komputer anda.

Yang Benar,

HypoG

Holy shit, that was hard, here’s an english version. Don’t worry the guide will be in English, I can’t do malay no more damnit 🙁

English Translation :

Many moons have passed since I last updated my blog; and as I have previously promised, for the first time ever (and highly likely, the last time) I’ve written an entry in my countries national language, Malaysian language (Formerly Malay Language)

Forgive my incompetence in penning my thoughts in Malay, as it’s been a long time since I last spoke in this pure language, and it may be said by ability to converse and write in this language may be related to a rod of iron that lies rusting over the days. Anyhow, the reason why I am writing in Malay is not to gloat as I always express myself; no, the real reason is to express my patriotism towards my beloved country and the national language which often riles up a sense of pride for the uniqueness that is Malaysia. That was a mouthful and I can’t bear to lie out of my ass anymore, I digress. Actually, I’ve written this short article to tease the parties which I challenged to write, at least 1 article in Malay, a language that has been thought to them in school for not less than 12 years.

You should be ashamed of yourselves, hoes.

It is rather pointless for me to write a short article that has no significance to me, so, I’ve decided to write an article about a field that is very close to me, the computer field.

In this time and age, it would be rather rare to meet someone who is completely ignorant over the advent of computers. For almost 2 decades, the personal computer has been made into a very important extension to the lives of every man. Moreover, the notion that computers are solely an educational tool has been disproved. Nowadays, computers are not only a medium of entertainment, but also one to watch movies, listen to music and play games, based on the 3d format. Combined with the internet, the possibilities are rather endless.

For a computer to function, it needs the software known as an Operating System. The most popular OS, and perhaps most hated would be Windows, with the latest installment named Windows Vista. However, Vista is still relatively new, with ample bugs related to software, hardware and driver issues, making a full conversion still far away in the horizon. Due to this, it’s predecessor, Windows XP, still remains widely used.

There are also alternate OS’ which one may utilize, namely MAC OS and Linux. MAC OS can be described as an OS developed for Batty Boy’s, and for those who are not aware of their sexuality (most often homosexuals). As for Linux, there’s only one word to describe it, and that word is nothing short of ‘awesomeness’

I am very fond of using Linux, and it surely has come a long way since it’s inception, but, till this day, I do not dare make Linux as the only OS in any of my computers (Save one junk laptop that serves as nothing but a file server, with no physical access). There are many reasons for this, but to be honest, the primary reason for this is due to the lack of games that are compatible with the Linux OS. Do not get me wrong though; Linux is a very powerful OS and often times much better than windows in doing what it’s supposed to do, but, games are an important factor for me, and this usually is the selling point for thousands of other computer users in the teenage to early 20’s group.

No longer is it valid to have only one operating system in your computer. It’s about time you grew a pair and installed Linux and give it a whirl. In my next article, I will not only teach you how to install Linux unto a Windows XP Machine, but also Windows Vista. That’s right, three OS’ in one machine. Windows XP, Windows Vista and Linux.

Stay tuned for the next update, coming in the next few days as I finalize some parts. Indeed, I need something to take my mind off of Pat. Anat.

His Awesomeness,

HypoG

Whilst I was in Moscow, there was this friend of mine that kept whining everyday that her laptop spazzes out everytime she tries visiting sites like youtube or other content-rich website (utilizing flash, for example). As a matter of fact, her laptop chooses to reboot every 20 minutes, on its own discretion. However, she managed to deduce that for some odd reason the laptop reboots whenever the bottom part (her words, not mine) gets hot. She quickly made a remedy for this problem, placing a damp cloth underneath the laptop whilst being mounted by two anatomy textbook as to permit airflow.

Right, this innovation has allowed her laptop to last at most, twice as long. However, the prospect of only listening to music for 40 minutes from her hundred-hour library did not seem very inviting. Naturally, she did what any other girl was expected to do. She purchased a brand new high-end dual core laptop that would not exceed 10% of it’s total potential, (Except the hard-disk space, i reckon) under her administration.

With the purchasing of her new laptop, this has lead to allow me to conduct a postmortem on the laptop pronounced dead (is it really?) by her. The following are the needed tools:

I received the laptop in pristine condition (read: all stickers that said warranty void if torn were perfectly intact). I got to work on it immediately (about 2 weeks after collection). It was a twinhead notebook, that was despicably small, and annoying. You would find yourself growling when using this laptop to type out a document, as the keys are all bloody misplaced when compared to the conventional keyboard. Thinking you’re hitting shift, you’re most probably just about to delete your entire work.

When I turned on the laptop, it ran for a good 10 minutes before shutting down automatically. Clearly cpu-burn was not an option for this laptop. So I got to work at dismantling the entire thing.

I cleared some dust and strengthened some wiring as well as some loose screws here and there. I collected her hard disk and made it into an external for the time being to make a back up (Read: To go through, and violate her privacy looking for potential blackmailing materials). After clearing everything up, I decided to look towards the processor chip.

*Note, During this Procedure it is absolutely vital that you do not bend any of the pins on the processor. Ample processors have been made obsolete because of this and you wouldn’t wanna brick your processor, cause it doesn’t even make a decent paperweight.

As you can see, the part where the heatsink and the processor connect is awfully dirty. No matter, we’ll clear it all pretty soon.

Naturally, the issue was with the heat-dispersion. The adhesive between the processor and the heat-spreader and fan were pretty weak. It has made the heat dispersion from the processor very bad and thus making the processor overheat really quickly. It wasn’t a big deal and a quick fix was in order. I whipped out my toolkit for this situation (I’ve a toolkit for every imaginable situation).

These are equipments that are vital to the basis of any pc (not really). There are 3 things to this package that you should take notice.

The first compound is the Thermal Material Remover. In few words, basically what it does is allows you to easily wipe out the residue left behind by the previous thermal adhesive used on the processor. This is vital because if there are residues left behind your new adhesive will not be able to do it’s job properly at the patches where the older residues are left behind. Put a few drops of the liquid unto the metal bar on the processor, and allow 30-60 seconds of time to pass. You may at this point, use a linen-free cloth to wipe clean the metal bar, or in my case, a cotton bud (Q-Tip)

With that done, now it’s time to use the Thermal Surface Purifier. Basically this prepares the surface (metal bar) before placing in the thermal paste. No doubt, this step can be passed, but really, why miss a chance to squeeze a cool ass tube? But I suppose it really helps, making the surface ready for the thermal paste. Again, for those who seem to believe pictures are important :

Now, look how shiny and nice the metal bar has turned out. This is going to ensure our thermal paste will spread nicely and equally all over the metal bar, which is vital for proper heat dispersion.

Wokie, next step, we get to play with a syringe. This is called thermal paste, or thermal adhesive material. Basically, when it gets hot, it will get all sticky like and ensure the connection between the heatsink/heatspreader and the processor are airtight.

Do not go wild and squeeze the entire tube of thermal paste unto the metal bar, this is incorrect and when you place the heatsink unto it, the paste will gush out in all direction, making a complete mess which is going to be hell to clean up. Instead, place a single drop at the center of the metal bar. It may not seem like alot but as your processor runs and gets hot, the thermal paste will spread all along the metal bar, spreading equally and evenly. This will ensure your heatsink attaches perfectly with your processor chip.

Well, that brings this entry to an end, I hope it was educational for all. Considering the previous owner had left this laptop for the dogs, declaring it’s death, I have now turned this once considered obsolete, and stress causing laptop into a nice little file server, for my home network, running Ubuntu Linux, with SAMBA. Remember folks, Old is Gold.

Sincerely,

HypoG