{"id":35,"date":"2007-05-27T05:00:37","date_gmt":"2007-05-27T02:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hypoglossal.wordpress.com\/2007\/05\/27\/parley\/"},"modified":"2007-05-27T05:00:37","modified_gmt":"2007-05-27T02:00:37","slug":"parley","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/?p=35","title":{"rendered":"Parley!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Well, running out of anything remotely interesting to write, I’ve decided how I can fill some space. The next few days shall be devoted to a series of interview I shall conduct (Read: fabricate) among some people I know.<\/p>\n

Before we start, the replies to each question would be my interpretation of how the person interviewed might respond when posed with that particular question. While it may lack luster, and accuracy, it would most definitely define their character, and their general behavior. I reckon it is absolutely necessary to begin the series of interview with a character everybody has grown to love, cherish and honour. Recently benedict, lets go straight to the hard-hitting Q & A.<\/p>\n

H: Could you state your name for the record.<\/p>\n

A : My name is Abilash Kumar, and I go by many fond names, including Abz, Abs, Abilash, Abi, and formerly, CCC2 (for the uninitiated, that’s ‘Cool Club Clan Member 2′)<\/p>\n

H: Okay CCC2, it would be of utmost important to start this interview with a rather orthodox question, so how’s about, What’s your favourite movie?<\/p>\n

A : National Lampoon’s Van Wilder<\/p>\n

H: That’s some crazy shit. Moving on, what’s your general outlook towards life?<\/p>\n

A : You see these rockin’ dimples of mine? Well, rumour has it, they’re going to take me places! It’s like a bus ride across Wonderland, the same one Alice kept bitchin’ about.<\/p>\n

H: Indeed, folks, here’s a look at the aforementioned dimple(s).<\/p>\n

*Note, the author would like to express that he feels no anger\/hate\/malice towards CCC2 for having an extra dimple and feels in no way shape or form overrun.<\/p>\n

\"Abz<\/p>\n

H : So Moving on, what’s your general outlook on life? Any personal goals you try to reach on a daily basis?<\/p>\n

A : I try to squeeze as many boobs as I can possibly get my hands on. However, female boobs only please. There’s a small ranking system devised for the sport boob squeezing, so allow me to educate you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
1-10<\/td>\nN00b<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
11-20<\/td>\nR00kie<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
21-30<\/td>\nR0x0r in Z@ Kitty B0x0rs<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
31-40<\/td>\nAdept Apprentice<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
41-50<\/td>\nMe So Horny, Me Love You Long Time<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
51-60<\/td>\nMaster-Malayalee<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
61-?<\/td>\nGrand Master Malayalee<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n

H: So where do you lie personally on that chart?<\/p>\n

A: To be completely honest, I lost count at 61.<\/p>\n

H: Aww, such modesty, a trait many of our readers could use under their belt. Moving on, yet another typical interview-ish question, what would you do with a million dollars?<\/p>\n

A: I’d probably go on a holiday and get a house by the beach.<\/p>\n

H: Damn, now that’s ambition. So here’s a rather controversial question; How do you feel about all the recent Malayalee bashing spree that’s been going on?<\/p>\n

A: All I have to say on this issue is, Stop being player haters fools. Hate the game, not the player.<\/p>\n

H: Wise words, truly profound. What are your hobbies and favourite way of killing time?<\/p>\n

A: My main hobby is actually studying, and I’ve ample ways of killing time, but usually, a good book does well, and changes over time. For example, during my schooling days a nice Fajar Bakti book did the job, later on in taylors, their Biology text had my attention, nowadays, delving into Guyton, or any decent thick medical book gets my time.<\/p>\n

H: Rumours are on and about your sexuality, how do you feel about this, would you like to address the, as you put it, player haters?<\/p>\n

A: Look, I’m getting sick and tired of the accusation the player haters out there have made, stooping as low as attacking my sexuality. Infact, I’ve decided not to let it affect me, so I’m going to publish a photo of myself, in one of my more vulnerable states, and I’ll let the public decide…<\/p>\n

\"Vulnerable\"CCC2 in a more laid-back vulnerable position in life. However he makes it clear that this was one of those days when a few drinks were necessary before culminating the event. He requests you comment on this photo with a pinch of salt. <\/em><\/p>\n

H : Wonderful, thanks for clearing it up with all them haters out there. Okay one final question before we end this interview, where do you see yourself in 20 years?<\/p>\n

A : Great question, I’ve been wondering all about it too, infact, so much so, I’ve got an artistic rendition of how I see myself in twenty years. I hope the following photo is able to capture my emotions, in all her glory.<\/p>\n

\"Gone<\/p>\n

H : Wtf, dude, that’s so fake it screams photoshop! And what the hell, 20 years down the line, those celebrities are still in their 20’s? Come on dude, that’s so shabby. And what’s your theme? Pimpin aint easy? You’re quite the faggot.<\/p>\n

A : Stfu, player hater.<\/p>\n

H : Well ,that concluded the interview, thanks for the complete waste of time, faker.<\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n

HypoG.<\/p>\n

Next interview, VK@driftking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, running out of anything remotely interesting to write, I’ve decided how I can fill some space. The next few days shall be devoted to a series of interview I shall conduct (Read: fabricate) among some people I know. Before we start, the replies to each question would be my interpretation of how the person […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypog.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}