Society…no, Malaysians preach that men and women may not be anything more than good friends without breaching the barrier henceforth known as ‘Argle-Bargle’. Argle-Bargle, is actually the line upon which the definition of couples {read: boyfriend and girlfriend} and friends are based. For Malaysians, If any guy is close to any girl, there’s something stirring in the soup.
Being the lascivious little devil that I am [people say I am], I trick, no seduce, women with my amorous, chivalrous and philanthropical personality and lifestyle. Upon gaining their trust, I ravage them sexually, and proceed to train, making babies, as without training, it is impossible to master [as blissfully pointed out by my Biochemistry lecturer].
Alright, if you’ve read as much as that without puking, you’d realize I’m full of shit. Touché.
But this is not the case, countless times I’ve been approached, by men and women alike, [okay, who am I kidding, women more so than men] when I’m hooking up with so-and-so. While It does amuse me how cretin-like people think, it tickles my funny bone, how a week later, they change the girl with someone else.
I have, however come up with a defence mechanism, albeit it seems obsolete at this point of time. Nowadays, I simply state, ‘I’m sorry, but she’s not the one, there’s a special chinese girl in my life right now, but she doesn’t know I exist.’ Initially, this was working out, but, alas it has ceased. Point in case, few weeks back, they would enquire everything about her, to which I would give vague responses, saying she’s a junior, and she’s new this year, etc. Nonsensical responses seems viable, and even the blatantly gay would capture their wildest imagination. This ended promptly, when somehow, they found out the chinese girl was nothing more than a figment of my imagination, instead. Damn, I felt pathetic.
Nonetheless, one part of me does feel, holy crap, they’re right, what’s wrong with me? How come, I’m not doing what exactly people speculate? I think, the most probable reason lies in the fact that I might be a gay cunt. Indeed, nowadays, explaining to people that I might be gay seems to be a reason they’re willing to accept, rather than just denying any hanky-panky with the aforementioned girl(s). Apparently, people are more keen on listening to what they want to hear than the raw truth. Woot.
Let this be a declaration that, Hypoglossal XII; henceforth shall be referred to as, one, The Gay Cunt.
Homosexually yours,
-HypoGXII
P.S. When the going gets tough, the penis gets tougher.