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There are so many great things that I love about my country that so much so deems Malaysia as the only place I’d ever call home (cliché), but sometimes, there’s just so much nonsense going around, mainly headed by the rapscallions that parade themselves about under the name of ‘Ministers’ that it is getting more and more embarrassing to profess myself as Malaysian wherever I may go. For the purpose of this article, I’ve decided to post 10 reasons why I love Malaysia, in increasing order of -proudness-.

10) In Malaysia, Criticizing the government is equated to “not loving the country, inciting racial hatred, and slander.

Ma hommies working in the parliament must be really stupid if they think criticizing the way they are destroying the countries wealth, drawing up stupid projects that end up getting flushed when it’s almost close to completion (RM 400 Million anyone?) is equated towards hating Malaysia.

9) If you have any documents which could prove beyond any significant doubt that a Minister is taking bribes, and is heavily corrupted, please do not make a police report, because you will be charged under the official secrets act for having in your possession, documents that are meant to be ‘eyes only’

Quote from Michael Backman

“In 1995, in a report to the attorney-general, the public
prosecutor said there was a prima facie basis for Rafidah’s arrest and prosecution on five counts of
corruption.

An opposition activist later acquired official documents that appeared to confirm this. He was jailed for
two years under the Official Secrets Act simply for possessing them. Rafidah, on the other hand, was not
even charged.”

8 ) If you insult Islam you can be charged.

If this is the case, why do blogs that openly criticize other religions are allowed to continue doing their nonsense? For example, MENJ, who is always on and about advocating the stupidity in other religions, and how his religion reigns supreme, with tendencies to contradict himself, in every other article he posts? Why can’t we arrest him for inciting racial hatred and slander? He calls himself a student of comparative religion, I call him an extremist out to destroy the peace in Malaysia. Alot of people agree on MENJ’s stupidity, but how come he’s allowed to walk around free? Why the double standards? And guess what, BN, he’s totally against your reign, so best put him behind bars.

7) Insulting the King is a crime that could get you jailed for life.

w00t.

6) No ‘free’ Media

All the major newspaper are either government owned, or heavily pro-government. The government calls the shots on what may or may not be published. A Minister makes a stupid comment? Order the newspapers not to report it. Stop all forms of debates or open forums trying to take place over the issue because it causes racial duress, and hell, may escalate to people fighting each other. No really, we’re really that barbaric that waving a jagged knife in the parliament is something you’re expected to do.

5) Close to someone in power? Or just related? Welcome to the largest hub of nepotism and cronyism of the world.

4) The ACA (Anti-Corruption Agency) is to lead all corruption investigations, but what happens when the head of the ACA is corrupted himself, and was still in power when investigations on him was ‘supposedly’ going on?

3) Hugging is illegal. Sometimes, holding hands can get you charged, and last but not least, no public show of affection, can’t have some rapists over the corner nurse his hard-on.

A certain deputy Prime Minister made the statement, No hugging please, we’re Muslims, showing the world of his Moral prowess, and stand against all things immoral. How hypocritical, coming from the man who cheated on his former wife.

2) Sleep in all sorts of meetings, gatherings, etc and later issue a public statement saying “Your Prime Minister is _NOT_ sleeping, Malaysia”

1) Try to sneak in millions of Ringgits into Australia, but when caught by customs, for not declaring the funds under the red channel, go up to the Australian court and declare that you don’t know English, but forget your position as (at that time) Menteri Besar of Selangor and (now) Information Chief of Umno.

I’m sure you folks love Malaysia too.

In Love,

HypoG

Malaysia’s 50th year of Independence is rearing it’s ugly head in. During this time, we’ll find all forms of political activities. The government does all form of shit to instill patriotism (something that can’t be ‘instilled’ if you ask me) from the school to the working sector. The opposition tries to do some more cock to fish some votes. However, all in all, there’s only one constant during election days and the independence day;

1) Racial tension is at it’s highest

2) Politicians hit the TV more often making outrageously stupid statements, sometimes controversial ones to fish votes.

3) People pretend to be more patriotic, hell, some even feeling holier-than-thou and feel the necessity to spread their gayness unto you. That squishy, pinky feeling of what they call patriotism, may it be to either vote, or to hoist a flag at your homes and workplaces. (Including your guest houses which you use to have mongolian hotties servicing you on the weekends.)

However, lets face it, forcing someone to hoist the flag, is not patriotism. No, forcing someone to Sing Negaraku isn’t either. I know this has been said billions of times, but if you want patriotism, look at America. Beyond her flaws, look at the citizens. See how they celebrate their 4th of july, see how they proudly sing their national anthem, etc. As a matter of fact, it is not an obligation for them to sing their national anthem, but they do it regardless, because they are proud of their nation.

Take a moment and think about the situation here… I know, comparing the U.S.A. to Malaysia is like comparing Apples and Oranges, but what’s the fundamental difference? Look beyond racial issues, look beyond religious philosophies, see what you find.. it’s simple; Mentality.

Here in Malaysia, the ministers were once considering playing the National Anthem before movies at the cinema, ‘to promote’ patriotism. WTF? No Really, WTF? There’s ample ways to tackle this problem, and this is not one of it. Malaysians are not stupid, but the ministers are, where else in the world can the topic of women’s menstrual cycle be of utmost importance? Where else can polygamy be justified by saying ‘God made man to share his love’, no seriously this happens in Malaysia, in the parliament NO LESS!

Here’s a challenge to all you fruitcakes (read : RSMU bloggers, or whoever the hell else.), as we all clearly know, not many are able to fluently speak Bahasa Malaysia (Fuck those who call it Bahasa Melayu, because you idiots fail to realize the only ORIGINAL word from Bahasa Melayu would be “Aku”, and everything else is borrowed! Nothing wrong with that, it’s common in languages, but the entire word-base? SCAD). Anyhow, back to my point, not many of us overseas utilize B.M. beyond the Malay population, English is usually the lingua franca, so for once, lets at least, in respect to our independence day, try to post one blog entry in Bahasa Malaysia, preferably before or on the 31st of August.

No spell checkers, no grammar correction, BM as you know it and nothing but. Come on, give it a try. Just to name a few, I personally challenge the following to try; it’s just one entry damnit:

1) Dr|ftking

2) Kyntia

3) Kristof Lim

4) She-who-pretends-to-be-a-baby…

Naturally, needless to say, this applies to me too. And there must be some ground rules, which are the following :

No short forms, No internet-speak (xde, xble, x tau, etc), No English referrence (I tak tahu la why dia buat cam tu). In short, you write as you would, for a penulisan exam in your SPM.

Patriotic,

HypoG