Fear is the only thing that will deter people from stupidity. Hit your children more often. -HypoG

On Par?

There is a common problem faced by any student of any field, that is worth his salt. “How Do I fare when compared with my friends from other universities?”, “Am I missing out on things being taught to my friends?”, “Am I in the right place?”. What it boils down to is simply “Do I know enough?”

To answer this question, No, when it comes to the pursuit of education, there is no finish line, it’s a life long process. What am I talking about exactly? Allow me to elaborate;

Often time, whenever in discussion with my fellow peers, it’s always a cat and mouse game at tackling the other with questions. Call it, enthusiasm for academic excellence (read: Kiasu). Right, so as always, when we discuss with our friends who study elsewhere, sometimes one finds it common place to feel short-changed, in terms of what he knows. To say to the extent that this makes or breaks the university of said student studies in is a completely false notion.

Just the other day, I was talking over with my friend who is currently studying in IMU, who has to an extent received clinical training (I’ve yet to be exposed to that), and from his clinically orientated questions, I was unable to come up with a completely satisfactory answer. To say the least, I was correct with my diagnosis, but completely fumbled with the examination methods and symptoms. True, I’ve not done my clinical years, and it’s also true we’re in the same year of study, and naturally this made me think, am I studying in the right place?

There are a lot of of misconceptions that comes with studying at Moscow. The most common one is people thinking Russia and Ukraine are the same place. Whenever I say Moscow, they go, Ohh Ukraine, that place that got de-recognized, and I have to spend the next 5 minutes explaining that it’s a completely different country. No doubt, it’s a sad faith, but the misconception is very hard to shake off, and there are far too many examples.

There are 3 kinds of doctors when it comes to passing down knowledge:-

– He who doesn’t give a fuck

– He who would insult the shit out of you before actually teaching you anything

– He who would explain everything to you, till you understand.

I’ve had the opportunity to meet all 3 kinds in my 4 weeks of attachment that I’ve completed. In the course of my attachment, I’ve met a graduate from my own university, one from Melaka Manipal who formerly studied at Kursk, and of that sort. It was of great interest to see how they were faring, considering I’m to spend another 4 years at the aforementioned country.

The Russian Graduate had shit to say. Apparently she got fucked during her housemanship, and she felt, the graduates from there are not on par with the local graduates. And she easily assumed all graduates from Russia are going to suffer the same fate. Well, not assumed, she’s pretty much convinced. But seriously, the old saying “It’s the student that counts” holds really true. How so?

A doctor of the 3rd-nature as stated above, was looking at a blood test result of a 80 year old man. I scanned it with him and exclaimed,

“Doc, is this nigga man suffering from renal failure?”

“Fo’ Shizzle, h0w’d j00 know? Yeah, that’s right, how did you come to that conclusion?”

“Elevated Creatinine, Uric Acid and Urea count, doc”

“Correct, now call all the other students, im about to teach shit”

So off I go to call all the other niggers out there, to come join up, and they subsequently do. He asks them to scan the blood test, and they took a good 10 minutes to come up with renal failure. This was a group of 4, with students from Manipal, India, Ukraine- CSMU, Kursks, and Melaka Manipal. Nonetheless, after they were done, the doctor asked, why is there an elevated potassium count? Hyperkalemia. All sorts of guesses shot from all angles. My homie shot something about the henle’s loop, I shot something about filtration and reabsorbtion, the girl from CSMU went on and about mentioning the same stupid thing, with different words, the Melaka Manipal girl quicky opened her handbook looking for details.

Eventually, the word acidosis was brought up and we were to think about it. At this point, the CSMU girl made an attempt to further destroy european med-school reputation by proudly claiming K+ was an anion. Jeebus, fuckin’ hell! K+ an anion! I deduced it was time she quit med school and opened up a brothel.

No matter, eventually with the help of her handbook, the melaka manipal girl gave a half-assed answer which eventually lead to the doctor explaining it up. All Good in the hood, learned something new.

Most of them were my seniors, with clinical experience who also seem to be having issues. One could deduce that regardless of “better” education, they’re still on the same level. I met one chinese boy from Dundee who was so reluctant to touch patients.. Too Hygienic even, would wash his hand for standing near a patient. He had some half-assed knowledge of CNS and Reflex Arch’s, which my homie quickly put straight. All in a day’s work for that guy, untouchable CNS knowledge. UK standards.

But judging the university like this is silly, and stupid. UK makes one of the best graduates in the world, India does so too, Local Uni, I’ve met a couple of Chinese and Indian guys, but they’re naturally pretty good, since it’s really tough for them to get in locally. There will always be things you ‘don’t know’, that the other party does. No need to harp over it and lose sleep. Hell, I learnt that morning sickness is called “emesis gravidarum” from Dundee (That’s what I call him), and what exactly certain M-shaped notches mean in E.C.G. readings from Galub, (A fellow studying in Manipal, India).

All in all, wherever you’re studying, do not feel at anytime, if you’re on par. Your university may have easy exams, lousy systems, bad facilities, or stupid teachers, but always remember, it’s the amount of effort you put in that will determine how good you are. I studied anatomy just a year ago, and I forgot the Gastrocnemius muscle is superficial compared to the Soleus, regardless of the fact that I corrected someone over it not too long ago. What is worse then the doctor who learned physiology 10 years ago talks to me about physiology with more skillz that killz than myself.

No doubt, what this means is the constant exposure and application of knowledge in the future makes one remember things of great importance. Not only that, I’ve determined that I have barely scratched the surface with what I know, such feeble knowledge, that I possess. You could call it half-assed, because believe me I’ve forgotten alot of my stuff. Lets just hope the next semester is more fruitful for me and my friends.

Future Surgeon,

HypoG (Circa 1986)

One Response to “On Par?”

  1. Kristof says:

    I think the point here is quality control of the university.

    Knowledge is knowledge and I’m sure most people have the opportunity to get alot of knowledge, but the uni simply sucks balls because they ALLOW idiots to receive certificates, with their blessing.

    case in point… er…

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