There was a time when I used to spend obscene amounts of money on books. Books are pretty gnarly things. Words on paper that take me to another world and make me miss train stations.
Unfortunately, I’m in a country that deems it perfectly reasonable to dub movies and translate everything into Russian because God forbid they fucking learn a different language (Sorry, that was just me being a bit tired of living here for almost a decade.) This means that if I want good books to read, I’ll have to haul them from Malaysia once a year and pray that I don’t have to pay for excess baggage (which also takes up obscene amounts of money.)
This also means that I have to trudge through the dumpster that is the World Wide Web for good things to read once I run out of books. I’m like that homeless guy with a trolley, except that he collects old tins and I score myself some sweet blogs.
Good blogs are not easy to find, and sometimes it’s not the first post you read that gets you hooked. This is what today’s post is all about: THE one that got me thinking, “I’ve got to start from the very beginning!”
1. Poor Stupid Cat – Books of Adam
This guy is precious. Not only does he write awesomely, he draws well too. Sure, illustrations may not matter to some of you, but if you’re anything like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, you’ll appreciate the pictures. Heck, if you have something resembling sight, you’ll appreciate the pictures.
Why did this post do it for me? If you can make something as dull as a cat drinking anti-freeze funny, there’s no way I’m not going to be loyal.
2. The Immaturist’s Guide to Birdwatching – The Sneeze
I found this blog when in a moment of desperation, I Googled “funny blogs.” What can I say? It was one of those days when I even read the hell out of the milk carton.
I’m not the most mature of people; I still find Uranus funny, and I still giggle when I listen to Blink-182’s live album. Needless to say, when I found a blog with pictures of swallows and tits that I didn’t have to close as soon as someone walked into the room, I was excited.
Sadly, the writer doesn’t blog anymore, but there’s a whole pile of posts that are wildly entertaining, especially the Steve, Don’t Eat It! series.
3. My Damaged Penis – Yossarian Lives
I came across this one when I was studying for my Public Health and Healthcare exams, which was basically a pointless paper on how to issue medical certificates for Russians (ADD moment: for a country that dishes out prescription drugs like candy, they sure are stingy with sick days.)
It all started out with a Mathorgasmics post, which featured an equation so well worked out that I only WISHED I had math questions like that for my A-Levels. I know I would’ve done so much better. While that post was all good and fun, it was the tale of a penile injury that sucked me in. I’m pretty sure it was the picture of the poor phallus, but I like to believe that I’m not shallow and will go with the “He’s been writing entertaining things consistently, why the hell wouldn’t I keep reading?” angle.
4. How to Lose Male Friends and Fatten Your Hooha – Aiming Low
I can’t be sure, but I’m almost certain that the discovery of this page was a result of some frenzied Stumbling (you know Stumble Upon, right?)
I like this page because I can relate to it. I’m not an overachiever, and on a good day I can push myself to be a regular achiever. You can see why a site called Aiming Low would appeal to me.
The reason this post got me hooked was simply the fact that I’d TOTALLY have that sort of rubbish conversation with a male friend. My first thought was, “holy crap! People like me exist!”
5. How to Use a Semicolon – The Oatmeal
My friends sometimes refer to me as a grammar ho. Those friends are cunts ( I jest! I love them…maybe.)
When I was in school, English classes were a joke. I learned absolutely nothing there, except that a lot of people in literature died of STIs. Actually, I’m not even sure of that, I might have made that up to make class more interesting. In short, whatever grammar I know, I know because English is my first language and I read an insane amount of books as a kid. This also means I’ve been sorta kinda figuring stuff out as I go along.
The semicolon has always bothered me. Sure, they look cute in emoticons, but I’m pretty sure they serve a greater purpose. It was on my quest to find out why the hell semicolons exist that I found The Oatmeal. Complete with examples of usage and an image of a party gorilla, I knew I was in for a good time here.
And that’s that, folks. Are there any blog posts out there that got you hooked on to a blog?
