What’s This? I’m Surrounded By Poo!

Warning: This is a bitchfit, so I’m guessing most of it won’t flow well and wil be borderline incomprehensible. If you stick around to the end, I applaud you.

On many occasions I have called girls crazy, but today I’m going to tackle the topic of how full of shit guys are.

From the time I hit puberty, I’ve heard countless guys talk about the girls they want, the sort of girls who annoy them and the girls they have. Here’s the gist of 14 years’ worth of stories:

Guys Want Girls:

1. who are confident with who they are

2. who can understand the necessity for guys to just hang out and do their guy things

3. who don’t nag them or keep picking on stuff they do

4. who can appreciate their silly jokes

5. who don’t play games with cryptic words and actions.

Guys Do Not Fancy:

1. clingy girls

2. bossy girls

3. girls who don’t know how to carry themselves in public

4. argumentative girls

5. girls who insist on watching Bridget Jones’s Diary for the 47th time while the (insert sport here) is on the telly.

Do you boys know who you ALWAYS end up dating? Every girl that fits the second fucking category.

I’m am perpetually baffled by this. Could someone please explain to me how the girls who make it into the first category end up being “one of the guys” and the girls in the second group are glefully stringing guys along by the balls?

I’m beginning to think that men just like sitting around with a round of beers (or teh tarik), bitching about how unreasonable their girlfriends/wives are. Sure, where’s the fun in saying, ” Oh, my girlfriend’s awesome; she bought me Skyrim Hearthfire AND Diablo III just for the heck of it”?

It’s either that, or all the girls who irritate guys are fucking amazing in the sack.