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Category: Bitchfit


I Don’t Believe In “FML”

Filed Under: Bitchfit by judene — Leave a comment
July 28, 2010

Today is a real bitchfit. It’s sad, really. I was drafting out an entry about the joys of being a woman. Pinky swear. Today was supposed to be a good day, almost joyous. Then a raven decided to take a crap on it. I’m not talking a normal, routine poop. I’m talking a huge-explosive-after-a-Mexican-all-you-can-eat kinda poop.

  1. My practicals are supposed to end today. Six weeks ago, that’s what my curator said. It’s not turning out the way I expected. Apparently, doing what one is supposed to do pales in comparison to blatant lying and sloth.
  2. Today is my late uncle’s birthday, making today one of those days I wish I had a crappy memory.
  3. I tried going to church today (imagine how lousy I must be feeling) and it was closed. How about that?!!
  4. I attempted at pursuing my favourite distraction, but it eluded me. On the bright side, I have a new high score for Bubble Spinner.
  5. Moscow is hot and now, there’s haze. I want to fling myself off the 14th floor just so I can feel breeze on the way down.

It really could be worse, so I’m hoping the clock strikes midnight soon.

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I’d Like A Serving of Serenity, Please.

Filed Under: Bitchfit by judene — Leave a comment
June 17, 2010

I’ve never really been one of those writers who only put up good pieces on their blog, but I normally DO try to keep the nonsense minimal. In light of how I’ve been feeling, I’m not going to try tonight. Let the monkey poop fly!

For reasons undisclosed, I am convinced that I am out of my damn mind. There is some crazy-ass battle going on between my principles, my faith, logic and the rest of the world. Needless to say, this is a quick and easy recipe for an emotional massacre.

Miraculously enough, with all that has been going on, there is no eczema to be seen. You have no idea how much wood I’ve just touched after writing that. If I make it through everything eczema-free, it will prove the hypothesis I’ve been toying with for the past three years. Fingers crossed, people!

At the moment, I’m probably not even in the proper state to write. I know this much: I tried to force a horse to drink water, even though it didn’t want to. Now it’s dead and I’ve been beating it senseless. And to top it all off, I’m not Roman.

I suppose all of this could be subject to interpretation. Keep in mind that this is me, so feel free to set the bar really low.

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May I Have February Back, Please?

Filed Under: Bitchfit by judene — 2 Comments
April 25, 2010

Today is probably not the best day to blog, seeing that not much has turned out the way I wanted it to. I’d like to dismiss it as April being a crappy month, but compared to what December usually has to offer, I’m doing great.

Therapy is over. To be perfectly honest, although I bitch about it a lot, I have a lot of fun during that cycle. It has a top-of-a-rollercoaster sort of feel to it. There’s always that tiny corner in yourself that knows that you could get screwed.

Currently, OZIZ is going on. So far, it’s been Add.Math statistics and one lecture about the Russian population. Thankfully, classes are on campus, which is a 15 minute walk so I don’t mind the cycle feeling pointless. Unfortunately,the lecture was not relate-able and my lecture notes ended up being this:

As for the statistics, I’ve never been disciplined when there’s any form of math involved, so most of my work looks like a cat barfed up numbers on to a page. My teacher did mention something about a test to get the cycle credit, which translates to, “Must decipher cat barf”. Hoorah.

It’s kinda sad that nothing much is happening besides classes, groceries and laundry. It’s even sadder still that I have no groceries and my laundry is taking up 80% of the space under my bed. The saddest of all: I think it’s perfectly fine to blog about it.

Logic dictates that I delete this post and forget that I ever typed it. But I tend to believe that stuff I write is pure gold, so logic can go suck it.

That last sentence may or may not be a joke. Such is how lousy today has been.

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An Open Letter To My Cold

Filed Under: Bitchfit by judene — 6 Comments
February 28, 2010

Dear Cold,

Every year, you visit me for a week. Although you have never been welcome, you’ve always known that by the 6th day, your bags ought to be packed so that on the 7th, you can go make someone else’s life miserable.

This year, your timing has been awful and you’ve been the most unpleasant guest. It’s Day 7, what the FUCK are you still doing here?!!

You come waltzing in just when I have plans. Everything was going well. Classes had begun and I was being somewhat disciplined. I had my strategy all out for my mission: to be able to pull this look off

Laugh all you want, Cold. It was working out great, then you came along. Thanks to you, I’ve consumed more food in one meal than I normally do in a whole day. After eating that much, you’re probably pleased to know that I can’t reach my toes anymore, much less exercise.Feed the cold, starve the fever. MY ASS.

I tried being nice. I thought I’d ease you out gently with lots of fluids, hot showers and rest. I even laid off meds. But NOOOOOO…. you just have to be the purulent nightmare that you are. You’ve made my hair fall, my skin dry and my voice hoarse (not in that sexy Sophia Bush way, either).

You know what? SCREW YOU. Screw you and the mucus you bring. Try overstaying your welcome. I dare you.

I will flush you out with my arsenal of weapons. Don’t think for one moment that just because it’s Lent and I can’t have chicken soup or sambal that you are spared from my wrath. Sure, my immune system appears to still be on a break but I have money and access to nasal sprays. Plus I have a fresh batch of Vaporub.

You’ll be sorry, Cold.

Sincerely,

Sasha “Tonsil-free” Zuleika

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Don’t Let The Sun Fool You

Filed Under: Bitchfit by judene — Leave a comment
December 17, 2009

-26 Degrees

For the past week, Moscow has seen nothing above -18 degrees Celcius. Students have been huddled around heaters like the homeless, but in better winter wear. On the bright side, there has been no wind to take our breaths away, which is a great blessing.

Chief Heater Hugger

Chief Heater Hugger

It’s December, my least favourite month. Many unpleasant anniversaries are coming up, and I do not care to enumerate them. All I know is, my ability to remember dates and useless events seems to be my biggest thorn.

I wanted to post about something that has bothered me for many years. I wanted to lash out and say everything. I knew what the consequences would be, and I didn’t care. I even had my words all figured out. My desire to write was so great that for once, I did not think about Seungri in the shower.

I don’t think my desire was great enough, though. If it were, I wouldn’t have waited till today to post, and I wouldn’t have let myself be persuaded by another blog and a set of memories to keep my words to myself.

I’ll compromise.

I used to reply, “no problem!” when people thanked me for anything. There’s a reason I say, “okay” nowadays.

Longer post later.

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