Category Archives: Bitchfit

Warning: This is a bitchfit, so I’m guessing most of it won’t flow well and wil be borderline incomprehensible. If you stick around to the end, I applaud you.

On many occasions I have called girls crazy, but today I’m going to tackle the topic of how full of shit guys are.

From the time I hit puberty, I’ve heard countless guys talk about the girls they want, the sort of girls who annoy them and the girls they have. Here’s the gist of 14 years’ worth of stories:

Guys Want Girls:

1. who are confident with who they are

2. who can understand the necessity for guys to just hang out and do their guy things

3. who don’t nag them or keep picking on stuff they do

4. who can appreciate their silly jokes

5. who don’t play games with cryptic words and actions.

Guys Do Not Fancy:

1. clingy girls

2. bossy girls

3. girls who don’t know how to carry themselves in public

4. argumentative girls

5. girls who insist on watching Bridget Jones’s Diary for the 47th time while the (insert sport here) is on the telly.

Do you boys know who you ALWAYS end up dating? Every girl that fits the second fucking category.

I’m am perpetually baffled by this. Could someone please explain to me how the girls who make it into the first category end up being “one of the guys” and the girls in the second group are glefully stringing guys along by the balls?

I’m beginning to think that men just like sitting around with a round of beers (or teh tarik), bitching about how unreasonable their girlfriends/wives are. Sure, where’s the fun in saying, ” Oh, my girlfriend’s awesome; she bought me Skyrim Hearthfire AND Diablo III just for the heck of it”?

It’s either that, or all the girls who irritate guys are fucking amazing in the sack.

I KNOW I’m going to regret posting this. I can feel it. Strange thoughts tend to show up late at night, and it IS late.

I’m amazed by how a few choice sentences can remind me of certain things about certain people. I haven’t decided whether these reminders make me less of a fool or simply a more bitter person.

Satan in an ill-fitting dress. I came up with that one, and I’m pretty proud of myself for it.

I’ve never portrayed myself as person who is genuinely violent ( a few fellas in 14-05 may beg to differ, I know) but there are people I encounter that I just want to beat up. I want it enough to consider taking up some martial arts class. Why? Because coming up with witty comebacks would be a waste of time and nerve impulses.

I know I sound childish and immature. I don’t care. *sticks out tongue*

Too many “I”s in this post.

P.S: Normalcy will resume shortly.

I’ve done something like this before on my old blog. Seems to me that it’s time for a Round #2.

1. I am neither your maid, your chef nor your errand girl.

2. Stop sabotaging your own chances. It makes you look pathetic and it irritates me.

3. Stop calling out other people’s mistakes without fixing yours. At least TRY not to be a hypocrite.

4. It’s normal to feel bad for yourself once in a while. Do it all the time, and you’re mocking a whole lot of destitute people without food, shelter and/or loved ones.

5. Is there anything you don’t complain about? It’s either too far, too long, too hard or a waste of time. Get over yourself.

6. You don’t get to decide the motive behind every person’s actions. And you certainly don’t get to decide whether the actions are right or not.

7. For every class or lecture you miss, you are wasting someone’s hard-earned money. Yes, even if you’re on scholarship.

8. You’re not good just because you don’t behave sexually suggestive, and that girl with the short skirt and stiletto boots isn’t necessarily bad for having Jell-O shots with five other guys.

1. ” God made sex something enjoyable so that people will want to procreate.” Clearly He did not foresee the invention of condoms, the Pill, IUD and spermicide. He may have overdone the pleasure factor.

2. “Guys don’t only take looks into consideration. Personality matters, too.” Sure. Kim Kardashian’s butt is NOTHING compared to her ability to hold an intellectual conversation.

3. “People will be less shallow when they get older.” Yes, that’s why there’s a landfill of shows that judge clothes, physical attributes and social status.

4. “When you study your specialty in Uni, you’ll probably meet more people you can relate with.” Ever heard of parents forcing kids to do what they don’t want to?

5. “Things always turn out fine.” No, you dumbfuck, they don’t.

I’ve never really been one of those writers who only put up good pieces on their blog, but I normally DO try to keep the nonsense minimal. In light of how I’ve been feeling, I’m not going to try tonight. Let the monkey poop fly!

For reasons undisclosed, I am convinced that I am out of my damn mind. There is some crazy-ass battle going on between my principles, my faith, logic and the rest of the world. Needless to say, this is a quick and easy recipe for an emotional massacre.

Miraculously enough, with all that has been going on, there is no eczema to be seen. You have no idea how much wood I’ve just touched after writing that. If I make it through everything eczema-free, it will prove the hypothesis I’ve been toying with for the past three years. Fingers crossed, people!

At the moment, I’m probably not even in the proper state to write. I know this much: I tried to force a horse to drink water, even though it didn’t want to. Now it’s dead and I’ve been beating it senseless. And to top it all off, I’m not Roman.

I suppose all of this could be subject to interpretation. Keep in mind that this is me, so feel free to set the bar really low.

For the past week, Moscow has seen nothing above -18 degrees Celcius. Students have been huddled around heaters like the homeless, but in better winter wear. On the bright side, there has been no wind to take our breaths away, which is a great blessing.

Chief Heater Hugger

It’s December, my least favourite month. Many unpleasant anniversaries are coming up, and I do not care to enumerate them. All I know is, my ability to remember dates and useless events seems to be my biggest thorn.

I wanted to post about something that has bothered me for many years. I wanted to lash out and say everything. I knew what the consequences would be, and I didn’t care. I even had my words all figured out. My desire to write was so great that for once, I did not think about Seungri in the shower.

I don’t think my desire was great enough, though. If it were, I wouldn’t have waited till today to post, and I wouldn’t have let myself be persuaded by another blog and a set of memories to keep my words to myself.

I’ll compromise.

I used to reply, “no problem!” when people thanked me for anything. There’s a reason I say, “okay” nowadays.

Longer post later.